It's Just a Bad Dream
by WhyFightAnEclipseWhenTheresJaz
Summary: After Holly J breaks up with Declan. What goes through his head?


_**My very first Degrassi fanfic. :D**_

**Declan's POV**

She placed the necklace in my hand and I stared at it, not believing what I was seeing and hearing.

This can't be happening, can it? I only offered her a little financial help, is that such a bad thing? I wanted her to come to Yale with me, what I thought was going to be our future. And she said it herself, what mine is his and his is mine. What, money doesn't count it this? It's my money, therefore, according to what she said, it's hers too. And she said about only her being in my future. What is she talking about? I thought she saw it the same way I did. I saw her in my future and she saw me in her future. What has been going on with us for the past few months that suddenly had her changing her mind about the future?

"Wow." I whispered, not being able to form words to try and fight for her back. I fought back the tears that were threatening to pool over; my vision was blurred. I adverted my eyes on anyone but on my Holly J.

No. Not my Holly J. She isn't mine. It's over. Even if I fought for her it wouldn't do any use. She's really gone.

I wanted to say something to her, I really did. But my air way was blocked off by a bail that was raising in my throat. I knew if I tried speaking my words would be choked out. Holly J would see that Declan really isn't perfect.

The driver took the left that Holly J had asked him to and he stopped at the corner.

She got out of the car and I risked one last glance at her, hoping with all hope that the tears didn't show through. This is the last time I will ever see the only girl I loved. I never returning to Degrassi, even just to visit her.

I cleared my throat silently, "Goodbye Holly J." I said in a surprisingly strong voice.

She looked at me, the tears visibly pooled in her eyes and I knew that's what I probably looked like right now, "Bye Declan." Her voice voice broke in the middle of my name, but she didn't hesitate to close that door after that. That is the closest I've seen Holly J cry. She's always the strong one, never showing her true feelings, always hiding behind that meanness. But I was the one person who found her true feelings. I saw the Holly J that no one ever saw.

The slam of the car door seemed to echo; it was emphasizing that it was actually over. Over forever; never again Declan and Holly J.

Once she was safely on the side walk the driver pulled away and drove off in the direction of the airport.

I wiped my eyes and felt the wetness on my hand. Never before, for any girl, have I cried. This was a first and it was for Holly J.

I still clutched her necklace that I had given her for a 'sorry I gave you the wrong idea' present. I held it tightly in my hand. _I can't let go of her, _I thought.

"Hey kid, you okay?" The driver asked looking in his mirror, as we entered the airport parking.

"Yeah." I said and looked out the window. Though he heard my voice crack her didn't comment the fact any, for which I was grateful for.

He stopped the car and I quickly got out because fighting the tears what driving me crazy. There was only one person that has ever seen my cry, heard me cry, and I was planning on keeping it that way. I hadn't packed anything, so I had no bags I had to worry about dragging around.

I started towards that entrance of the airport and I heard the car start up so I looked over my shoulder to see the back of the car driving away from me. When I was sure he had disappeared I wiped my eyes again and took out my phone, dialing the familiar number.

"Hey, Dec." She picked up on the second ring.

I was silent for a moment, "Fiona." I choked out.

It was quiet on the other end, "Are you okay?" Her voice was filled with concern, like any good sisters would.

The silent tears fell down my face and I walked to a support pole and leaned against it, sliding down till I was sitting on the floor.

"No." I said, trying my hardest to be clear so she could understand me, "M- My world is fa- falling-" I stopped at my last word. Apart was what I wanted to say, but I couldn't bring myself to say it. To me, and anyone, apart if me and Holly J. Not apart as in me in New York and her in Degrassi.

"What happened?" She asked and I leaned my head back and brushed more tears away.

"She br- broke up with me." I stuttered.

It was again quiet on the other end. Then she answered, "Are you okay?" She asked again.

I felt like yelling the obvious answer to her, but I didn't, I kept my anger under control, "No, Fiona, I am not okay. The girl I love, she broke my heart." My anger ended up slipping into my voice and my answer came out hard.

Love. I loved Holly J, and still do. I've like a lot of girls, but never loved them. Holly J, I thought she was going to be different. The one I would spend the rest of my life with. The one I would go to Yale with, get married to, have kids with. I thought I was going to grow old with her and go all gray haired and senile with her.

But that's all over. I have no future to look forward to with Holly J, my only love.

"I'm sorry, Dec. I didn't know she was going to do it. Why?"

I cleared my throat and started forcing the tears back because I had to leave shortly or else I would have to catch another plain. And the sooner I leave here the better, I hope, it will be, "Nothing. I have to go." I cleared my throat again because it quickly went stiff again, "Bye." I hung up the phone before she could answer me. I stuffed my phone in my pocket and stood up.

I walked to the front door slowly and stopped at the door, wiping my eyes one more time to catch any that fell when I was ending my call.

_No more crying, Declan, _I thought, _at least wait until you get home. It's not that long, only a few hours._

A few hours too long.

_**Alright, I don't know. How is it? It's my first and I thought it turned out pretty good. Tell me what you think in a review. :)**_


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